Been riding the roller coaster of life. Processing emotions. Dealing with pain. Coming to realizations. The works.
A particular comedy special, Daniel Sloss’ “Jigsaw” put a lot of the stuff I am dealing with into perspective for me. I keep having ups and downs, but I will be ok.
So today’s topic. Sleep.
Christine and I have had separate beds, and for much of our 11 years, separate rooms…since the start. Why?
Well, she likes it warm and silent. I have a window fan or A/c all year round (I like it cold.) I run a floor fan and play rain sounds while I sleep. I also snore like a chainsaw.
So we never tried sleeping in the same bed, and quite honestly…I felt for a long time that it was ok.
Now that we are done, and headed to divorce…I realize that it was stupid. It is a level of intimacy that we missed out on. Cuddling until we fell asleep. Random night kicks. Waking up next to each other. We missed out on 11 years of that and I think it definitely did not help our bond.
There were not night time frisky adventures. I mean, sure…I could have woken up at night and snuck into her room, but I’d risk scaring the crap out of her and getting kicked/punched etc. Nothing says romance like scaring the shit out of your partner in the middle of the night!
Also, after whatever activities ensued, I’d have to go back to my room to sleep. It made the whole thing feel…temporary, now that I think about it.
So when (if) I end up in another serious relationship, I am not making that mistake again. We will adapt to however the other sleeps and compromise. If it means a couple sleepless nights from being too warm, or getting kicked a few times from a sleep sprawler…whatever. Worth it for that bond that comes along with sharing a bed.
Anyway, that was my thoughts for today.
There is more to life than paying bills and dying.
And I love you.