Masculinity. The word has almost become derogatory in society today.
Gillette put out an ad, video below if you haven’t seen it, and people went nuts.
Men came out to either support this ad, as I did, or to crucify Gillette for “attacking masculinity.” So many men, especially on Youtube, took it as a personal attack on manhood. They defended masculinity, saying it is not toxic. Guess what guys.
It isn’t. Nothing is inherently wrong with being a man, or your masculinity for that matter.
Dictionary.com defines Masculinity as:
mas·cu·lin·i·ty/ˌmaskyəˈlinədē/Learn to pronounce noun
- qualities or attributes regarded as characteristic of men.”handsome, muscled, and driven, he’s a prime example of masculinity”
- Similar: virility, manliness, maleness, vigor, strength, muscularity, ruggedness, toughness, robustness.
There is nothing wrong with any of the things listed above. No one is attacking you for being a virile, rugged man. No one is shaming you for being strong, tough or manly.
What is toxic, is the flip side of the coin. The things that some men attribute to being masculine, that shouldn’t be part of being considered masculine. That would be sexism, man-splaining, being a bully, attempting to intimidate women, or men for that matter, with said strength and toughness (other than in sporting prowess. Obviously you want to try to scare you opponents in a sporting match. That is just strategy. What I mean is scaring a coworker with your size because he is smaller and meeker than you.) Things of that ilk.
Basically, toxic masculinity is being an asshole. THAT is what is under attack.
It’s fine for boys to wrestle and burn off energy. In that sense, boys will be boys. It is not ok for a larger boy to pin down a smaller boy and beat the snot out of him.
Objectifying women, and making it blatantly obvious that you are doing so. Cat-calling. Not acceptable.
Shaming rape victims.
“What was she wearing?”
“Why was she out at night, alone?”
“I don’t believe she was raped.”
“She shouldn’t have gotten so drunk.”
This is the sort of “masculinity” that Gillette is speaking out against. It’s obvious to see that in the commercial. I honestly have no idea where some men got that idea that being a man was under attack.
And another thing, the pressure for young boys to “be a man” is absolute bullshit. Raising your boy to believe that men don’t cry, and that they can’t have emotions other than anger, is absolute horse shit.
I just felt like ranting a bit. I could go on for more about this topic, and I might later, but I have a delicious smelling stew in the crock pot and I am quite hungry.
Remember, there is more to life than paying bills and dying.